Have I told you lately that I love you?

The silent retreat I attended with Hai Bee helped me tune out the busyness of life. It cut down the noise and unneccasary sounds until I could hear what my heart was saying and my heart  said clearly...."Have I told you lately that I love you? And I do .. with all my heart. Sometimes in the busyness of life, I forget that I love you but I do .. with all my heart and all my soul - Papa God, knowing you is the best thing that ever is in my life".

The roses I sketched out in my silent retreat on my lined exercise book as I sought to tell God.................. I loved Him in my limited way.

Morning sunrise walks with Him and Hai Bee. We start about 6.35 am while it is still dark and we catch the sunrise of His love. Swathed in the cool mists of your love , Bathed in the warm sunlight of your love.  That first morning walk, I didn't even think to bring my camera so I sketched it out again.

I wasn't the only one inspired to sketch or to write poetry here. We were all captivated by the beauty of this sacred space up in the mountains. It beckons me to come away to retreat with my beloved.

And when I went to Taiwan for a few days, the same atmosphere prevailed - I was going away with my beloved, both Jason and my Lord. At Wulai, I was just so captivated by the 80m Wulai falls. The sound of the waterfalls just outside my room window and my balcony all night long is so theraputic to my soul.

Listen to the sounds of the waterfall in the video.

Pure therapy. I am so refreshed. Psalm 42:

Simple things, natural things make me happy. This fossil shell in Yeliu Geo Park reminds me how the imprint of a leaf or flower has been caught aeons ago on the fossil shell.  I am convinced we were imprinted on God's hand before eternity began and He loved us long before we were even aware He loved us.

Have I told you lately that I loved you? 

Pumpkins breakthrough!

Each morning, I usually serve my husband Jason a slice of steamed or baked pumpkin. The doctor  advised that pumpkin is good for him some years ago so we began putting that into his morning breakfast quite regularly. So we have bought many varieties of pumpkins - from the very expensive Japanese and Korean pumpkins costing some RM70+ and above to the very cheap local variety about RM5+ for each pumpkin.

During those season where we bought the expensive pumpkins, we just thought it would be good if we could grow the expensive variety and not have to pay through our nose for it. So we sowed some pumpkins seeds and lo and behold, the seeds sprouted and became healthy looking plants. In fact they looked so healthy and the leaves were so abundant, so green and fresh that I used to comment to Rodziah my maid that if only we could eat the leaves, we may not need to buy vegetables. But Rodziah advised me against eating the luscious leaves saying they could cause us to be gatal.

But we got discouraged when all the pumpkins sprouted was leaves and leaves alone. Then we stopped planting them. Later we tried again with local varieties. This time we saw leaves and lovely, pretty happy yellow flowers. And we thought there was some hope of eating our own homegrown fruits. But the flowers never pollinated though I tried to pollinate some manually. And so we gave up planting again. But Lydia Seoh encouraged. Her pumpkin plant produced one fruit hiden up on the tree and she gave it to us. And so we tried again and just let the plants grow.

Then one day I got really excited when I saw 3 small pumpkins form. To my horror, a few days later I saw the squirrell eat the fruits and also my neighbour lop off the branch with the small fruit. Aiyoh - I was so heartbroken. Then I saw more fruits again. Wah! I summoned my maid to tie newspapers to prevent the tupai from eating them and she did. But the fruits did not stay and dropped off. Sadness...

But I thought of the verse. "I have chosen you and have ordained that you should bear fruit and your fruit should remain." So I spoke to Papa God about this verse which was the first verse I actually memorized when I became a Christian.

Now a few weeks later, we found the fruits that remained - 3 fruits now that are sizable in the sunnier part of our back garden. Happiness. Looking at the pumpkin fruits is now looking at our anak - we check closely how big they have grown.

                                                                    Hidden pumpkin

                                                                        Ripening soon

High up on the tree.

We can't wait to bring the first fruit that ripen to Pastor Swan and family. The pumpkins fruits have helped us understand different levels of breakthroughs - from only leaves to flowers to fruits that didn't remain and now finally to fruits that remain.

The pumpkins have helped us understand the meaning of perseverance with things that dissappoint us again and again. May our lives be like the pumpkins and we finally bear fruit that remain and delight God and others despite going through many failures and dissapointments.

Kindness of strangers in a strange land - Scotland

This happened many years ago on my first trip to UK in 1996. We stayed in a lovely cottage called Bryan's cottage in the Lakes District. Byran's cottage was quite drab from the outside but it was so very beautiful and English from the inside.

From there we ventured to the surrounding areas and drove up to Scotland. We travelled to the town Dumfries where the famous poet Robert Burns lived.  Robert Burns is known as the Ploughman Poet of Scotland and is the author of the famous Auld Lang Syne as well as many other famous poems.

Here in Dumfries, I experienced the kindness of strangers several times. We were travelling around in a big van - big enough to put all the luggage of 10 travellers.We had quite some difficulty finding parking for our outsized vehicle. I remembered after we had found a good parking lot, we happily strolled off to venture. But a middle aged lady called me back to our van and pointed to a card on her dashboard. She told me we would have to get those parking cards to put into our van but I did not quite understand her because this was in the good old days before they had introduced the parking coupon system in Malaysia. After some lengthy explaination which yours truly,truly did not comprehend, she took her parking coupon and placed it on the dashboard and told us we had some 40 minutes before it expired. We thanked her for her kindness and patience.  Finally we understood she was trying to prevent us from getting a summons!

At another part of Dumfries, we again had difficulty parking the van. After circling the block several times in vain, we noticed a man near a basement parking that stated "For Unloading Only." He had seen us going round and round the block and he motioned for us to park in the basement with his kind permission. How thankful and grateful we were that total strangers took notice of our plight and went out of their way to help us.

These acts of kindness from strangers in Dumfries (who did not know us from Adam)  impressed upon me that we Malaysians needed to develop a different lifestyle; one which accomodates strangers. We needed ( very much) to learn to go out of our way to be hospitable and kind, especially to those who are foreigners in our country. So after that trip, I made some kind of mental resolution. I would try to help foreign visitors to Malaysia, at least help with stuff connected to transport. Easier said than done!



I thought making mental resultions to help strangers was good enough. But when I actually came down to trying to help others, I had to struggle with inner feelings of self consciousness and self accusations of being  kay poh chee etc etc.   But constant struggles like these are good - finally the struggles strengthen the inner resolve that I must help a stranger no matter what I feel on the inside. Once that decision is made to help strangers, opportunites to help others will display themselves and become slightly more evident to our eyes, ears or heart.



Fast forward many years. A few weeks ago, I happened to hear a lady ask someone in a shop in Bangsar whether she could call a taxi to the shop. I knew this person was most likely not a local because she was not dressed in working clothes. I also knew that the chances of her getting a taxi in that remote part of Bangsar was really, quite remote. So having had resolved years ago to help strangers and having had many chances to practice that resolution, it now came quite naturally to me to ask her if she needed a lift somewhere. I could drop her to some civilized part of Bangsar where she could easily hail a cab. She happily took on my offer. But when I proceeded to leave the shop, she still had to pay for some bills via the credit card and it took some time to process it. So I got a bit impatient and asked her if it was going to take long. I mentioned in passing I needed to go back to school.

She said "No, - just a few more minutes." Later she asked me which school I was heading to. I mentioned Convent Sentul. Imagine my surprise when she excitely told me she was an ex-student of Convent Sentul! What a coincidence!! She quickly hopped into my car and had so many questions to ask about her beloved ex-school.



To cut a long story short, during the car ride, I realized she was on holiday and was teaching at some local universities while being on holiday here. She expressed her desire to visit the school and instead of dropping her off in Bangsar, I took her to school. I also invited her to Convent Sentul to do a motivational talk for the Form 3 and 5 while she was still back here in Malaysia.

And so that was how the motivational talk by Ms Jenoah Joseph from the University of Stirling, Scotland  and Ms Yong Lai Peng ( her classmate) from United Nations came into being. Jenoah shared with our students how she had to study in a home without proper electrical supply and how her dad had to come on his motorbike to take their heavy school bags so that they could walk home back to Segambut from Sentul!  It's still a long walk - I assure you!

Ms Yong shared on how her parents were vegetable sellers in the Selayang pasar borong and how she had to struggle to succeed. I really enjoyed their session in particular the Q&A session. It was very beautiful to see how two girls from 2 different races bond together while they were in Convent Sentul and how they are still such fast friends despite the distance and the time that has lapsed between them both.

Hearing  real life stories motivated my girls that they could succeed despite whatever odds were stacked against them! Jenoah and Ms Yong reminded the girls that they should come back to Convent Sentul after they have left the school so that they could motivate the next batch of students and continue the legacy of giving back to the school.

So through this strange coincidence. God reminds me of the benefits of helping strangers. As I have been helped, now I am able to help.

The almond flowers

The almond flower is special to me. Why so, some of you may ask? To many of you, the almond is just a pretty flower. Not so to me.

You see, the almond tree is the first to wake from winter's deep slumber.It is the first tree to blossom in spring. It blossoms while other trees are still bare and devoid of leaves and blooms. One of the prettiest sights I have seen is the almond tree, almost completely adorned in flowers with a few sprigs of green leaves. In fact often there are more flowers than there are leaves which is not the usual scenario for most trees.

I have seen the almond tree in blossom even against winter's snow. To me the almond flower represents God's readiness to perform His word in my life and to execute every promise He has made.      In Jeremiah 1: 11, The LORD asked me, "Jeremiah, what do you see?" I answered, "A branch of an  tree." "You are right," the LORD said, "and I am watching to see that my words come true."  The tree in the conversation between Jeremiah and the Lord is the almond tree. As ready as the almond tree is to bloom even right after winter, that is how ready God is to perform the promises He has made to us. That gives me hope even in winter's gloom that God is waiting for me to pray for He awaits me, ready to answer my prayer.


I have several fond memories of how God awaits me - that long before I pray, He has prepared the scenario to answer my prayer. In Him I live and move and have my being.

One fond memory is of an encounter with Don Moen, that famous Hosanna integrity singer. There was a time many years ago, Don Moen visited Malaysia. And that night, I sat in the MCA concert hall almost at the last few rows to attend the worship concert. He was so far away that I could hardly see his face. But the next morning saw me at a song and music workshop where he was like, maybe 6 feet away from my seat. Right after the workshop ended, the people crowded round him to request for photos with him. I too wanted a photo with him since he was so near. But I had not brought any camera nor did I know anyone in the crowd. Hardly had I even begin to reflect on how nice it would be if I could get a photo with him, I heard a voice calling me from the front. "Teacher,!!Go stand next to him and I take a photo for you"  One of my ex- students had seen me in the crowd and being younger and more techno savvy ( at this time many years back - I confess I was not at all techno savvy and did not carry a camera with me anywhere) quickly saw the rare chance for me to get a photo with Don Moen.

I had always wondered in my heart and also aloud to God. Did I pray first or you prepared the answer to my prayer long even before I thought to pray? I remained very convinced after many such encounters with God that He has heard my cries long and prepared the answers long before the prayers have even arisen in my heart and on my mouth.

Another such encounter was when I needed to make a decision to accept my promotion letter from a regular non portfolio teacher to the post of Penolong Kanan Tadbir and Curriculum some 6 years ago. Believe me, I was not so interested in the offer!

I had just come back from Singapore from a conference in early December on a Friday and the minute I crossed the causeway, my phone rang non stop. Badariah, one of my beloved teachers informed me we had to prepare the students  for a presentation with Dr. Craig Barret, the then Intel CEO and other education officials in Putrjaya  that immediate Monday. All the way from Johor to KL,my phone was peppered with calls as we prepared the  teachers and students via the phone line. When the presentation was over on Monday,  I prepared myself for some highly needed rest.

Two days later, on Wednesday, I recieved a strange call from my school clerk questioning me why I had asked for transfer to another school. I assured her I had not asked for any transfer and probrably there was some mistakes with the ministry.She insisted I come back to school to look at the letter and when I did, I was quite bewildered by it! I was to report to SMK Seksyen 5, Wangsa Maju the next week. Huh??

I put two and two together and decided that I would have to see Datuk Noor Rezan, the then Director of Education for KL to understand what was happening. She told me she wanted me to assume the PK1 post and she had done it ( without consulting me) knowing I was not willing to move anywhere from my beloved SMK Padang Tembak on my own accord. I was still in shock as I disliked very much adminstrative work which I found to be extremely boring and very stifling. I asked for a week to think over the offer.

Strange what comes to our minds and heart when we set aside time to reflect on what God have to say to us during crisis and decision making times. Some words spoke by Vernon Falls almost 20 years ago came to mind. He had said to me back then when Sue Jan was a new born that " God will put you into adminstration" I had always dismissed those words because I thought the dull adminstrative work was in MAJOR CONFLICT with my creative and spontaneous nature. Why on earth should I remember these words now? These words were not what I wanted to hear then.

Another thing that came to my mind was Ms Seah Jiak Choo's words at the Singapore's conference. Ms Seah, the then DG Education of Singapore (at 57 years of age)was and still  is an avid marathon runner and a mountain climber.

All her messages in that conference had been geared either on marathon running or mountain climbing save for the very last message which was on fishing. And she had ended her final address by saying " Some of you will be called to launch out into the deep soon after this conference - into areas you don't usually go to. Some of you will be called to become adminstrators" I thought these words were very very good but for other people like for example Hai Bee who was due to become a HM soon back then but personally for me, these words were not significant. "Oh God, why is it that in this time of reflection these words of Ms Seah comes to my memory. "You know the answer now. I recognized the words I recollect as that of God's spirit causing His chosen words to alight on me when I waited on Him.

Today after 5 years of answering that call as PK1 and almost one year as Pengetua, I looked back and know without a doubt, that God has prepared His answers for us long before we pray.

KL School Principals in Kundasang, Sabah

75 school principals from KL flew to Sabah and were whisked off to the BTN Camp in Kundasang. We were not quite sure what to expect but definitely whatever we experienced were quite out of our expectations.

Happy ladies -
Pn Phoon, Pn Tan, Pn Loh, Pn Siew and Pn Lau

Some of the things we didn't expect.. like having our meals served on a metal plate with different compartments ( except for the rice and soup). If you wanted second helpings, you had to be like Oliver and asked for more! Another unexpected task was having to wash our own eating and drinking utensils after each meal in very cold water and wiping them dry.

Another unexpected thing was having to brush teeth in the open air and having to bathe in the toilet ( not bathroom mind you, but toilet) I use the cold water from the bidet to bathe for the four days I was there.




I brushed my teeth in the open air using the water
 from this blue tub.

What I enjoyed most about Kundasang was the fantastic view of Mount Kinabalu and the flowers and the fun fellowship and the exercise sessions.


Mount Kinabalu was unusually clear this morning till
about 9 am. We could even see Laban Rata, Donkey Ears, Hugh's Peaks
and Low's Peaks. The clear view stirred nostalgia among those of us
who had climbed Kinabalu before when we were much younger.






Posing with Mount Kinabalu in the background before 7 am

in our red corporate uniform. Sunrise comes very early
here about 5.45 am. Mount Kinabalu gets misty by 8 am usually.







Ms Goh and the slimmer or younger hms
including yours trulyoccupied the upper decks
of the double bunk beds.
We had great fun in our dorms.

The schedule was very packed! We were expected to go for morning sessions beginning at 6 am and night sessions ended at about 10.30 pm. Due to the water shortage, many people got up at odd times ( like 3 am) to bathe so the dorm was noisy most of the time. Often many of us dozed off during the lecture sessions due to the tak cukup tidur syndrome.

Another unexpected thing was our attire. We had to wear the official red corporate uniform and then the blue T shirt for exercise sessions. We wore white and black for formal lessons.


With Ms Goh before crossing the rope bridge
 in our blue T shirt on a morning jaunt.



I was placed in Group 1 . Pic shows my group
members posing with Datuk Sabudin. We enjoyed
Datuk Sabudin lessons most compared to other lecturers.




Group 1 members in our blue T-shirts.





We had a lot of fun practicing patriotic songs and putting up presentations just like the way our students do in school during Merdeka. Pn Latifah's group used small flags during their presentation while our group used one big flag.We learnt a fair bit about the Constitution, the country's history and the real message of 1 Malaysia.



The lilies that grew here were reminded me of the lilies that
bloomed in my garden from the bulbs we brought back from Holland





Good memories of Kundasang together with Hai Bee and the rest of the gang.

Seeds of life

The 3+1 (households ) families that travelled to Holland and UK together in April, namely my in-laws, my family, my dad and Chris's mum all bought lily bulbs from Keukenhof because Chris and his mum said they could bloom in Malaysia. When we gathered for a re-union at Chris's house last month for his mother's delicious fish head mee hoon, of course one main topic of discussion was " Have your bulbs bloomed?"

So there apart from viewing our holiday photos, we checked the status and progress of our bulbs. My dad said he had a gigiantic stalk and it was going to bloom anything but not yet. My father in law recieved his bulb late because they forgot to retrieve it from our suitcase at the airport so his was not going to bloom that quickly but it was growing well. Mine was also on the verge of blooming and Chris's mum bulbs were growing healthily and also about to bloom anytime.


So like excited parents and grandparents of new anak - the lily flowers - we waited with bated breath and exchanged photos of our anak when they bloomed.



The first bulb to bloom was my dad's white and pink beauty. It has 3 whorls and pink lines in the middle of the white petals. Oh so beautiful! I would take photos of the flowers whenever i visited my mum. The first stalk had 3 blooms and the second stalk had 4 blooms after a week.





























2nd to bloom was my white lilies - single whorled with delicate pink tips at the sides. I had several stalks and all 11 flowers bloomed a few days after one another so the 11 flowers were really pretty.

Then Chris sent the photos of his Rawang red beauty. Triple whorled- all red and many blooms.

Shortly after that, my deep red beauties bloomed and their beautiful deep red in contrast with my whites made such a pretty picture that even my newspaper lady was enthralled by them.

Last to bloom was Mama - my mother in law's flowers. These were also triple whorled but they had a pointy white streak in the middle and her petals were pointed. Such interesting variations of flowers!

And mama had an extra bonus! The seeds she recieved during the flower street parade grew and bloomed and behold this sweet pink flower next to her red.

The pink flower gets to be quite big. Chris said his bulbs from the parade didn't have a chance - he thought they were chocolates and not seeds. My dad's seeds grew but did not bloom. I didn't get any bulbs from the parade - I think they only gave to the old people and yours truly was much younger compared to the older generation.

In retrospect, I marvel at the life that remains in the seeds even after so many weeks of dormancy. We planted the seeds like about two weeks after we bought them and carried them in a light proof box home. In my father in law's case, he planted his seeds about 3 weeks later. Yet the life in them is so vibrant and strong that they have the potential to grow and to bloom once they recieve light and water and are grounded in good soil.

This has given me renewed faith on God's word. Last night at the Parents Appreciation Night, Rev Dennis Balcombe shared precious words of life - seeds with life - just like these lily bulbs we brought . Just as those seeds grew and bloom all at different time in different households, I am confident the precious seed of God's word contains life and will bloom beautifully in these 3+1 households plus all the other households that heard the word of life.

I am reminded of the parable of the sower. An excerpt from the parable;

This is what the parable means: the seed is the word of God.

Luk 8:12 The seeds that fell along the path stand for those who hear; but the Devil comes and takes the message away from their hearts in order to keep them from believing and being saved.
Luk 8:13 The seeds that fell on rocky ground stand for those who hear the message and receive it gladly. But it does not sink deep into them; they believe only for a while but when the time of testing comes, they fall away.
Luk 8:14 The seeds that fell among thorn bushes stand for those who hear; but the worries and riches and pleasures of this life crowd in and choke them, and their fruit never ripens.
Luk 8:15 The seeds that fell in good soil stand for those who hear the message and retain it in a good and obedient heart, and they persist until they bear fruit.

We need to pray for our seeds to be cast into the right soil or ground. We need to continually take the weeds, the thorns and the rocks out of the soil of our parents' hearts.

Pray the Devil will have NO chance to take away the seed. In the parable, the devil is represented by a bird that eats the seed. I looked at the lily bulbs we brought back from Holland - they are so big that no bird can eat them - otherwise the bird will cekik ( be choked). Similarly I believe the word of God is a Big Big seed and we pray and command that the devil cannot eat the seeds of life. Let us pray the seeds of life sown last night through God's word will sprout and bloom beautiful blooms.

Yesterday at the Parents' Night Appreciation dinner, we exchanged notes again and Chris's flowers are still blooming while our flowers have all passed their prime season. We have all agreed to exchange anak once the bulbs start multiplying in the ground

More important, we take the parable of the lily bulb and see it to be a manifest version of the seed of word of eternal life and that our parents will all bloom beautifully albeit in their old age.

The Queens' birthdays

16th April 2011 marked the birthday of the Queen of Holland. There was a flower parade to mark this auspicious day in Holland.

We went to the town of Voorhout to catch the flower parade. The children of the town. See the two babies in their beautifully decorated pram pulled by their proud parents.

The parade was not limited by vehicle type or gender. Both boys and girls took part in the float parade. There were so many types of decorated vehicles - from baby prams to bicycles to tricycles.

These three typically Dutch boys - blond and handsome definitely caught my eye as they rode past in their decorated tricycle.

I found out that the Dutch loved to sing. This was our 2nd day in Holland and we encountered our 2nd Dutch choir. This one came complete with musical instruments, conductor and macho men dressed in red.

The fancy floats that came after the children were really fancy. Some of them were so fragrant with hycinths that the fragrance reached us before the float arrived. This year's floats were based on movie themes. We had Mama Mia, Song of Music, Phantom of the Opera and so many others.

We realized how special the day was when we found out it was also Christopher mum's birthday. Awesome - for her to have her birthday coincide with the birthday of the Queen of Holland and to have grand celebrations throughout Holland such as this flower parade and so awesome of God to orchestrate this coincidence.

Chris's mum Madam Tan See Feng is the undisputed queen of the kitchen! Period. She could whip up fantastic meals for breakfast and dinner. Even her meehoon kosong tasted wonderful because she brought along her own homemade bunga kantan paste and sambal paste to Holland. She brought along her wok and with it made us so many delicious scrumptious meals. We had bah kut teh, curry chicken, prawn noodles, mee suah, fried rice etc and clearly no lack of Malaysian food!

When we went to England, we were truly surprised by another Queen. See the picture on the day of the Queen of England's birthday. Queen Tan See Feng in St. James Park escorted by her prince, Chris Lum

The Queen of England celebrated her birthday on 21st April. Wow - a trip of 3 Queens' birthday. What is God trying to speak to us?

God speaks many things to me through this coinciddence of 3 Queen's birthdays. Many things yes but of one thing I am sure and certain. This Queen Tan See Feng needs to find her king. Join me and Chris and Serena to pray that Queen Tan See Feng will open her heart and find her King - King Jesus to complete her joy.