A stroke of genius and a stroke of love

The stroke struck me on  6^th October 2018. It was challenging to craft this post. In the early days, I typed a rough diary on the computer since I could not write physically and I didn’t want to later forget those early daily details. That draft was rough - with plenty of mistakes. So for the first part, this post is in chronological order. I hope it will help people with family or friends going through stroke or some crisis recovery. I also want to give hope there is recovery and meaningful life after stroke.

Our 2-year-old granddaughter Emma pacing me
through physiotherapy exercises.

6 Oct 2018 Saturday, 8.55 pm:

We had just finished dinner in Cyberjaya. A few minutes later, I had deftly keyed in my PIN at the ATM there and got the money out successfully without any issues During the 5 minutes ride home, I felt numbness in my right hand and couldn't move it. On reaching home, I could not lift my right leg to walk. My husband Jason helped me place a call to my friend, Dr. Tan Guat Ming as my right hand could not scroll the phone screen. She was very sharp and immediately detected the slurring in my voice. She instructed Jason to admit me to the emergency ward of a hospital.

We decided to go to the nearby Putrajaya hospital. Meanwhile, Jason sent an urgent prayer request to Pastor Kim and she posted in our church’s prayer group at 9.05 pm. The emergency people immediately wheeled me in. Preliminary tests revealed that I had lost the reflex to swallow saliva, so they inserted a tube through my nose to prevent me from choking on my saliva. Prayers for my healing poured forth continuously from church and friends. Our family rushed from Setapak to the hospital. Friends from Rawang- Chris & Serena rushed to Putrajaya and prayed for me.

The hospital wheeled me in to do the CT scan. The scan results showed left basal ganglia acute hemorrhage with right-sided hemiparesis. The bleeding area measured 3.2 cm (AP) x 1.6 cm (CC) x 3.6 cm (CC). They told Jason to prepare for the worst-case scenario. I could further deteriorate and may not regain mental and physical functions, and I could have a second or third stroke soon. 

The night, my blood pressure shot up dangerously high. Jason slept in the hospital room with me. He had the reassurance from God I was going to be ok despite the negative reports. However back home while gathering his clothes for the night, he had a major meltdown.

7 Oct Sunday:  About 8.00  am, I noticed I had some control over my right hand. This increased by noontime  and by evening, I could lift my right arm over my head as recorded in a video to Ibu Evie from Jakarta. That day the hospital removed the drip. It was a great relief to use the toilet without the drip. Ps. Irene visited with flowers and Dad & Mum and the Tan family visited just before dinner. Christy – my loving sister in law visited.  Sue Ann also got back with leave granted from her boss.  I was transferred to a 4 bedded ward that night as my single bed ward was needed for a psychiatric patient.

8 Oct Monday: Lying in the hospital bed, I was weak and slept a lot. My lopsided mouth caused me to drool unconsciously and eating was rather messy. My right hand did not grip well. I dragged my right foot along rather than lift it up to walk. I did not walk steadily. The physiotherapy team found I did not have the kinesthetic reflex to touch my nose. I was given exercises to train my brain to rewire itself. At 11 am, Kee Boon and Lay Suan visited me. Ps Irene brought me yummy porridge for lunch.  Lay Kein and Chris visited at the evening slot. The speech therapist came and cleared me to be discharged. But it was too late as no senior doc could sign my discharge. So I spent 1 more night in the hospital.

Kee Boon and Lay Suan visit me in hospital.

9 Oct Tuesday:  I want to thank the doctors and nurses at Putrajaya Hospital for their dedication despite the patient overload. Each morning, junior doctors would come and get the case history of the patients by reading the medical postings and talking to the patients. They then later presented this to the middle-level doctors who would ask many questions or correct their findings. Finally, before noon, the 2nd level doctors would present their cases to the senior doctor. I saw a lot of mentorship and serious learning taking place amongst the doctors. The doctors and nurses were thorough and patient.

The Pang Yaus visit me in hospital and we had a happy singalong session.

That last day in the hospital more friends visited. Kim & Christine visited with lovely orchids. They had to park at the police station! The security guard helped find parking for them.  The parking must have been horrendous! The pang yaus brought much food. Lydia cooked chicken porridge, Wai Wha bought mee sua with greens and lean meat and Trixie bought multi-grained porridge. Peter Oon played on the guitar and I responded by singing “I will follow Him” We all came to the happy realization that my brain and mouth were functioning well enough for me to sing. Andrew Seoh prayed for me and helped send my stuff home to Cyberjaya.  

I reached home at about 3.30 pm. Once home, Jason felt it was safer for me to use the downstairs room until several weeks later when I graduated upstairs. Sue Ann flew off that night. Emma helped me eat the pang yaus delicious and nutritious food.

10 Oct Wednesday:   Rosie brought my mum and dad to visit. Rosie brought lovely fragrant small orchids. Sue Jan and Andrew helped send their grandparents home.

11 Oct Thursday: Jason took me to Assunta Hospital to see Dr. Raihannah. Judith sent her homemade fish porridge there.

12 Oct Friday: Jason took me to Pantai to see Dr. Sng Kim Hock, recommended by a dear friend whose husband is a specialist doctor. My bp was erratically high that day. He gave me 2 weeks supply of 5 mg Amlodipine. He scheduled me to do MRI and MRA on the next week. Sue Jan, Andrew, and Emma came with more food from Judith. 

13^th October Saturday: Jason had to leave the house for a meeting. Two pairs of long ago ex-students with their wives came to the rescue and babysat me at home. Wai Wha &Tang  Chee came with yummy fish head noodles. Tang Chee played my guitar. Hearing and watching him play made my heart and hands itch to play too. So after he stopped, I went and fiddled with it. I managed to play “The Moon represents my heart .” on it. That helped me know my fingers’ functions had improved considerably. I was very happy and grateful to be able to play the guitar again. Bryan and Joanne came shortly after and we had dinner together. 

Wai Wha & Tang Chee, Bryan & Joanne babysit me with much food for me and family.

14 Oct Sunday: After her sermon on pottery, Ps Kim invited me to give my testimony of God’s amazing healing in me. That night, my bp was a bit high as I went to sleep anxious over the scheduled MRI and MRA the next day.

15 Oct Monday:  I woke up with the song “Part the Waters Lord.” I knew God was speaking to me and my anxieties were calmed. Even though the scans was unusually long, God had sent His peace ahead through the song. Later, Dr. Sng explained that I had miraculous healing! He showed us the areas that had profuse bleeding. It narrowly missed the part of my brain that controlled limb movement. Much to Dr. Sng’s relief, it was not an aneurysm.

The bleeding area in my left brain.

I was on home confinement for 3 months apart from church and hospital and safe places. There were so many visitors to our home at first that the guards thought someone had passed away. I am thankful for Madam Siva, my long-time physiotherapist at Damai Specialist Hospital, Jalan Ipoh, KL. She has helped me tremendously, both by her expertise, care, and specifically designed exercises, which empowered me to sign documents approved by my bank.

On the first month anniversary from the stroke, I reached a new milestone, clocking the first 13,289 steps that day but all under Jason’s eagle eye.’ We did 3 consecutive days of over 10k steps after that.

Prior to the stroke, I had agreed to speak at a girls’ camp. During the period of recovery, I didn’t know if I could speak. I texted Ms. Moey to find an alternative speaker. She said she preferred to pray me through if I still wanted to do it.  As I waited on God to direct me, He spoke clearly in a song Oceans.

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Saviour.

The bridge spoke most clearly. It wasn’t about me and what I could do. More, it was about my Saviour Jesus Christ and where He would lead me. So I agreed to Ms. Moey’s request. I was overjoyed when 7 girls received Christ after the talk.

The 7 girls who were added to the kingdom.

Domestication & Quality Living

As part of the physiotherapy for my hand, I had to hand knead bread dough regularly. Much to my joy, I was able to make fluffy soft bread by January 2019. Kneading and baking soft bread was the start of domestication for me. Meals were home-cooked, using organic herbs from our garden and salmon caught by Jason. Later on, I also learned to make mushroom soup and other traditional food using Google. When my friends visited me, they often took home our herbs to plant and grow. I learned to propagate plants – for example, some water lilies. I even sent sunflower seeds to people who requested for them, some even as far as Kuching.

The joy of hand made fluffy bread.

I felt very much fulfilled during the 3+ months of home confinement where the big baby was me, with plenty of support from everywhere. Old friends and ex-students from KL and beyond whom I haven’t met for some time made it a point to visit me in Cyberjaya and we just caught up happily with one another. I didn’t use any alarm clock but woke up when my body felt I had enough rest and lay down to sleep when I felt fatigued. I walked regularly. Walking 33 continuous days of over 10,000 steps is something I have never done in my life. I enjoyed spending much quality time with family and friends. 

Even after I was able to drive alone, I still enjoy staying at home. It felt lovely to have no obligations to do anything or follow any schedule. All my adult life, there had been schedules and things I felt I should do. Suddenly nobody expected me to do anything except to get well. This was the most pampered period of my life! Not having a schedule gave me the freedom to cook nourishing food which I brought when visiting sick friends. I was glad to be of help and comfort walking them through the crisis they faced just as I had been helped by others.  I found my unstructured days very therapeutic– I could bless as I had been blessed.

The hospital and Dr. Sng did not see the need for me to continue any medication. I was also advised to stop taking Chinese medicine or herbs as they could spike my pulse rate.  I even stopped using my usual vitamins. Instead, I decided to start coconut oil pulling to improve my immunity. I monitor my BP and pulse rate regularly and I have learned to keep track of what spikes my BP and pulse rate and to depend on God and prayers to calm me. I have a calming ritual before I sleep. I have not fallen sick at all after the stroke and I am grateful to God for keeping me well.

One calming ritual was to spray the 5 plants in my bedroom.

Fulfilling dreams

Prior to the stroke, we had applied to go to Israel in February - March 2019. My last pilgrimage to Israel had been in 1999 and this trip 20 years later was a much-awaited one! However, I wasn’t sure if I could travel safely. As part of the preparation and also part of the  "rewiring brain through hands-on physiotherapy exercises", I intentionally learned Hebrew script and copied Hebrew calligraphy. One reason was I found the large calligraphy pens easier to wield compared to the regular ballpoint pen.

It turned out to be a beautiful 3 weeks in Israel and Jordan. I was so happy to be able to walk the high ramparts from Jaffa Gate southwards together with friends and Jason. We even managed to walk the underground tunnel alongside the Western Wall the same day and emerged at the Arab quarter! It was definitely the fulfillment of many desires in my heart.

Jason and me in Jerusalem.

Can you see our heads above the wall surrounding Jerusalem?
Yes, it was a 20-year wait and dream to walk on the ramparts of this city.

We also had a lovely family holiday in Japan. And I am looking forward to more traveling! Recently I cycled from Cyberjaya into Putrajaya and back around Lake Perdana via several bridges!

https://musingsdebbie.blogspot.com/2019/07/cycling-from-cyberjaya-to-putrajaya-and.html

Why this title?

A stroke of genius and a stroke of love. This stroke has forced me to stop a hectic lifestyle which was not good for me physically and emotionally. Only God by His genius could do that.  I stand amazed and thankful to Christ Jesus my Saviour and Lord that I am 95% healed in such a short time. I thank God that Jason was with me at the onset of the stroke – I cannot imagine the consequences if I had been driving alone. I am thankful to Jason for walking me faithfully through the stroke recovery. I am also grateful for Dr. Tan Guat Ming for taking my call as a friend and her swift diagnosis of my symptoms. These I believe were orchestrated by Father God in His tender mercies.

More love has been poured into my heart from God and family and friends and it is so easy to love as I have been loved. There is no guarantee the stroke or some other disease will not strike again. I rest in the knowledge that my days are not mine but His to extend and I am grateful. There is a desire to lay down my life and ask Him, “What do you want me to do with the extra days you have gifted me?” I want to be obedient to do that which He highlights.

Cycling from Cyberjaya to Putrajaya and back around Lake Perdana

When I first shifted to Summerglades, Cyberjaya in 2015, I would cycle each weekend along the cycling track around Lake Perdana, which was then in its initial stages. Somewhere about June 2015, the track was completed past the big house on the lake. Each weekend, I cycled excitedly to see the progress on the cycling path. Occasionally our friends came to Cyberjaya and had great fun cycling but the sad thing was, we always had to reverse and backtrack because there seemed to be no complete loop. Also, we could see Putrajaya but we couldn't physically cross into Putrajaya.  Something within us wanted a cycling track to complete the loop and to cross into Putrajaya and back.

Well, it has taken some years and maybe this is a sign the new government under Pakatan Harapan has done positive changes in Cyberjaya and Putrajaya. Today, 2nd July 2019 after 3 attempts and under Helen Stefano's super fit leadership and with her companionship and care, we completed 1 loop around the lake from Cyberjaya into Putrajaya and back! Yes!

Google map of our cycling loop

Bird eye view from above PICC

Bird eye view from above PICC with some notes and cycling loop in orange.

The mysterious house in what seemed to be the middle of the lake 

We met our beloved Tun M with his bodyguards while cycling sometimes.
This picture was taken before the elections 2018 in front of the house on the lake.

See the video of Tun M cycling on this trek by copying the following link . https://youtu.be/Hyd1QL6MfWI

Today we started from Summerglades, Cyber 7 and went around the big house on the lake, searching for a connecting road. The reason? Yesterday, we couldn't find the road and Helen had to carry my bike and her bike down the many steps of Seri Saujana Bridge.

Helen Stefano - a true friend who carried my bike down the stairs

Good news! We found the connecting road below the bridge. It leads uphill to the north side of Seri Saujana Bridge. That was why we couldn't find the road the day before! We were looking for the road on the south side! We enjoyed the sleuthing process to locate the missing link. We cycled until the end of Seri Saujana Bridge and then crossed over back to the south side to go to the lakeside track. Seri Saujana Bridge would be my favourite bridge in Putrajaya because of the beautiful curved modern lines. Earlier the lights that change colour on all bridges didn't function well the past few years but I am glad to report the lights on the bridges are now so beautifully bright several months after Pakatan took over.

From here, we cycled up the majestic Seri Gemilang Bridge which faces PICC. Yesterday I wheeled the bike up but today I managed to cycle till past its midpoint and then it was plain sailing downhill ( cycling I mean) all the way down until we reached the PICC front junction.

Me on Seri Gemilang Bridge on 1st July 2019

Helen on Seri Gemilang Bridge. I am a bad photographer.

Seri Gemilang Bridge

Cycling downhill from the bridge to reach the bottom of PICC

There was a safe route we had already explored and knew, below the Seri Gemilang Bridge. But today, we felt adventurous and pushed off again in the unknown to find yet another route to the lakeside.

Below Seri Gemilang Bridge on 30th June 2019

We rode until we saw the junction that went uphill to PICC and downhill to the lake. We entered the lakeside track via the east side of Heriot-Watt University. Heriot-Watt University has the arched green grass thatched eco-friendly roof of the building. From afar, I had seen this beautiful green roof and always wondered what this iconic building was. The completed cycling track helped solve this mystery! For some reason, I feel very happy knowing this. I know I have a strong bias and love  Scotland and her brilliant people like Heriot and James Watt.

Heriot-Watt with her spectacular eco-friendly green thatched roof

Me pointing to the green thatched roof.

Then it was the beautiful scenic sunset view track all the way until Summerglades, Cyberjaya.

Sunset scenic view of the marina

Close up of the marina

Why am I so happy and eager to write about this completed cycling loop? First, for me to be able to complete it is a very good sign I am really getting much stronger and fitter since the stroke struck me on 6th October 2018. I am really grateful to the Lord Jesus who has healed me by His grace. Secondly, I am so happy to have Helen's care, watchful eye and fun girls talk as we ride. I am also happy the sleuthing worked and we figured and found out the roads and paths that connect the cycling track. Now Helen doesn't have to carry my bike and hers physically up or down any steep stairs. Thirdly, Pakatan Harapan has done a lot of good things and spruced up many amenities in Putrajaya and in Cyberjaya! Yes life is good especially when we can connect the dots. LG.

28th July 2019  This evening Jason joined us cycling. We added another loop, going below Sei Saujana Bridge to the Anjung Floria region and cycling behind the iconic Iron Mosque until the Mcdonald. We found a ramp up the bridge and then cycled across Seri Wawasan Bridge and along the road until we joined back the lakefront road near Precint 8. We total 18 km today. Yes! Lovely weather and lovely ride amidst good company. LG.  We have cycled before in Valencia and also in Central Park, New York. But my humble opinion is this cycling loop so near home is one the world's most scenic and easiest cycling route.

God knows our needs and unspoken desires.

I had a major stroke on 6th October 2018. This is the reason for the long silence in my blog posts. This is my first post since the stroke struck.

I had a wedding to attend in Tanah Rimba, Bukit Janda near Genting Highlands. The outdoor wedding ceremony was scheduled to start at 3.00 pm and dinner would end late, after which I would have to drive back to faraway Cyberjaya. Naturally, I was concerned about my stamina ( after the stroke)  on such a long day and having to drive home alone after that as my husband was busy with an important task and could not drive me.

Lydia & Andrew offered me a lift for the dinner event alone. Pastor Irene also offered me a lift from her home to Janda Baik for the noon ceremony.  Earlier I opted for the less strenuous dinner alone event. However, the night before, we had durian therapy and it rained very heavily. And so, I slept soundly till 8.40 am on the morning of the wedding. Upon awakening, I felt refreshed and invigorated so I texted Lydia and Irene to tell them I would be going with Irene. I further offered to drive Irene and Michelle up as I was rather familiar with the narrow winding road up, having driven there many times to Maranatha, a favourite silent retreat resort. The drive up itself was lovely as I re-lived many memories of driving up here several years ago. The joy of nostalgia as we travel to a favourite familiar place is indeed therapeutic.

What a lovely spot for an outdoor wedding! After the heavy rain the night before, the place was so cool and fresh. The venue was beautifully decorated, with fresh flowers including huge fresh peonies. Irene was very relieved at not having to drive and navigate the window uphill road as she was officiating the wedding ceremony.  The groom broke down for several minutes while saying his vows. He touched our hearts with his genuineness. We had such a good time there with our children and our cute granddaughter in the lovely green surroundings.

Irene officiating the wedding ceremony

Groom Guan Yan kisses Christina

With the  pretty bridesmaids

Family picture -
Me, Sue Jan, Emma and Irene

Smiling with Emma

Emma with her infamous scowl.

The dinner was beautiful, The hall was decked up in fairy lights. My dear friends - the Pang Yeows with Peter on the guitar, together with Cory and Sylvia - the bride's parents performed and sang all their old favourite songs up stage.  Cory took Christina through the traditional father-bride dance which brought tears to our eyes as Thomas sang " Butterfly Kisses"

Father-daughter dance to Butterfly Kisses.

Beautiful flowers and table arrangement by littleoncedeco

We also thoroughly enjoyed the talented violinist Helga. Emma was mesmerized by her and danced to her violin playing.  Helga kindly obliged Emma and knelt down to be the same height as Emma's level. The groom Guan Yan and his band Big Bird performed for his bride and guests. The young ones also sang many lovely numbers.

Me and Irene in the beautiful wood-paneled hall,

Groom and bride danced below fairy lights.

The groom and bride danced to romantic melodies. The beautiful evening ended with the young and old ones on the dance floor, singing, and dancing to old and new melodies.  On our way out,  before the event officially ended, the florist Pei Yee ( littleoncedeco) offered us 3 beautiful bouquets of fresh flowers. She probably could read my body language that I  loved her flowers arrangement. I was overwhelmed with joy.

 One of  the lovely bouquets given
by the kind florist Pei Yee

I reached home safely after dropping Irene and Michelle. This is the farthest I have driven after the stroke. Thank you for extending my boundary and for giving me strength. Thank you, God, for seeing to our needs for transport - both mine and Irene and the bridal party's need for good weather minus rain. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for meeting the unvoiced inner desires within me for the lovely flowers.