Grasped by His strong hand

Light in darkness

                                                    Aurora in the Yukon , Canada.

I could not fathom it but I knew something was not okay with me emotionally when I returned back from US in 2012. Initially I thought it was just jet lag and fatigue but as the months went by and the low feelings persisted on, I realized it was more than that.

I couldn't quite place my finger on the feeling. It felt as if  every now and then, I was  tele-ported somewhere often - to another continent, to another age, and  to heaven's shore. Turning a physical corner in driving or walking felt as though I was turning a corner into another age and era. Falling asleep also felt like I was going into another time zone. At times, I woke up in the night sobbing and not knowing why. I struggled with those difficult feelings.

In the midst of all this, I did wonder if it was time for me to go home to heaven? Was Father God sending me signals to prepare to go home to Him?  I even consulted a therapist and among some of the things he did was to check if I was suicidal then. No, I said, no I am not suicidal.

Then this vision came. The sketch above done during my quiet time does not do justice to the vision I saw. I saw God's huge strong hand grasping my weak hand. My feet were sinking in miry clay but His strong hand's grasped lifted me up and out of the miry clay. All outside was pitch cold darkness but God's hand holding my hand was bathed in a wonderful shaft of warm yellow light. I saw warm light in the cold darkness.

The poem I wrote next to my sketch

The strength of your hand's grasp, 
Holding my hand, 
Lifts me up and out of the sticky miry clay
I am no longer sinking low 
but you lift me up


It is never how hard I hold on to Him that matters. It is how hard He holds on to me that really matters. In that season of my weakness, I realized it was all about Him and not about me or whatever limited strength I had.


Then the lyrics of Matt Redman's song became so meaningful to me.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth


YOU NEVER LET GO LYRICS - MATT REDMAN

I am glad that dark confusing season is over. I am even more glad I have gone through it, knowing God was there with me and it was His strength that held me and not my limited strength.

Favour of God

I should have written this post much earlier but school was just too hectic with all the major upgrading we were doing, so this post is long.... overdue.

I heard from the news and read that 80% of Venice was flooded on 11 November 2012. Our dilemna? We were due in Venice on the 13th November 2012. We heard it was the worse ever floods. We  viewed the YouTube movies that showed people moving their luggage in waist high water. I asked Jason if we could go somewhere in Italy first before going to Venice so that hopefully that would give buy some time for the floods to  recede. He said we had booked all our flights and  hotels for 7 days in Italy and cancellation was difficult.

Well, since we couldn't change, we got prepared. I bought 3 pairs of Phua Chu Kang boots just in case we had to walk through the floods.We repacked our luggage. So off we went!

The weather in Venice when we arrived on the 13th November noon? And the weather after that?
We had sunny blue skies without clouds and not a drop of rain for the 7 days we were in Italy! Miracle! God's grace. God's love. Favour!!! Thank you, Papa God. Muaach!!!

Sue Ann in gondala against sunny blue skies.
Not a cloud in my eyes,
Got the sun in my eye

.

It was also our 30th wedding anniversary
when we arrived on the 13th Nov 2012

To top it, we visited many places near and In Venice.I loved Rialto market and Rialto bridge.

Red hot peppers that looked like Christmas baubles.

Burano with her colourful houses.

Burano with her lovely laces

In August, I visited Furano and had a great feast with our eyes and tummy.  Guess where it is? Then we visited Murano glassworks and had an art feast.  Now Burano... Sigh..! What a lovely play of places that had names ending in ano.

Burano's yummlicious food.

Since I didn't get a chance to wear my heavy Phua Chu Kang boots lugged all the way from KL, I just had to pose in St Marks square where small sections will flood when the tide comes in. Btw, we left our 3 pairs of boots in the hotel for the next guests and next major flood.

Me with my Phua Chu Kang signature yellow boots
in St Marks square where it floods
when the tide comes in

Florence was a dream come true! I had read and taught about the multi-tiered houses on the bridge at Arno river in Florence about 10 years ago. Now I got to see the bridge and the houses and to walk on the bridge.

Jason with the 4 tiered house on the bridge
 on the Arno River in Florence

Which true physicists can resist not going to Pisa and see and climb the leaning Tower of Pisa? Pisa is just an easy hour ++ journey by train from Florence.

Propping the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

We took the cab to the highest point in Florence and viewed the city below. You can still see the multi tiered houses on the bridge. The statute of David is there to keep you company and you can walk down the stairs right past the fort and back into quaint Florence inner city again.

At the highest point in Florence.
Can you see the tiered house bridge
over the river in the distant background

Statute of David

Both Florence and Milan are shopping havens. Ladies - I advice you strongly - check out all the prices of the branded Italian stuff you have dreamed about while you are in KL.  aWhen you compare the prices in Italy, you realize it is very worthwhile to shop in Italy and you will  buy, buy, buy like I did......! Haha!

Cake from Sue Jan's church

We felt truly blessed by the favour of God's love. Thank you Papa God!! Receive our grateful thanks!