A stroke of genius and a stroke of love

The stroke struck me on  6^th October 2018. It was challenging to craft this post. In the early days, I typed a rough diary on the computer since I could not write physically and I didn’t want to later forget those early daily details. That draft was rough - with plenty of mistakes. So for the first part, this post is in chronological order. I hope it will help people with family or friends going through stroke or some crisis recovery. I also want to give hope there is recovery and meaningful life after stroke.

Our 2-year-old granddaughter Emma pacing me
through physiotherapy exercises.

6 Oct 2018 Saturday, 8.55 pm:

We had just finished dinner in Cyberjaya. A few minutes later, I had deftly keyed in my PIN at the ATM there and got the money out successfully without any issues During the 5 minutes ride home, I felt numbness in my right hand and couldn't move it. On reaching home, I could not lift my right leg to walk. My husband Jason helped me place a call to my friend, Dr. Tan Guat Ming as my right hand could not scroll the phone screen. She was very sharp and immediately detected the slurring in my voice. She instructed Jason to admit me to the emergency ward of a hospital.

We decided to go to the nearby Putrajaya hospital. Meanwhile, Jason sent an urgent prayer request to Pastor Kim and she posted in our church’s prayer group at 9.05 pm. The emergency people immediately wheeled me in. Preliminary tests revealed that I had lost the reflex to swallow saliva, so they inserted a tube through my nose to prevent me from choking on my saliva. Prayers for my healing poured forth continuously from church and friends. Our family rushed from Setapak to the hospital. Friends from Rawang- Chris & Serena rushed to Putrajaya and prayed for me.

The hospital wheeled me in to do the CT scan. The scan results showed left basal ganglia acute hemorrhage with right-sided hemiparesis. The bleeding area measured 3.2 cm (AP) x 1.6 cm (CC) x 3.6 cm (CC). They told Jason to prepare for the worst-case scenario. I could further deteriorate and may not regain mental and physical functions, and I could have a second or third stroke soon. 

The night, my blood pressure shot up dangerously high. Jason slept in the hospital room with me. He had the reassurance from God I was going to be ok despite the negative reports. However back home while gathering his clothes for the night, he had a major meltdown.

7 Oct Sunday:  About 8.00  am, I noticed I had some control over my right hand. This increased by noontime  and by evening, I could lift my right arm over my head as recorded in a video to Ibu Evie from Jakarta. That day the hospital removed the drip. It was a great relief to use the toilet without the drip. Ps. Irene visited with flowers and Dad & Mum and the Tan family visited just before dinner. Christy – my loving sister in law visited.  Sue Ann also got back with leave granted from her boss.  I was transferred to a 4 bedded ward that night as my single bed ward was needed for a psychiatric patient.

8 Oct Monday: Lying in the hospital bed, I was weak and slept a lot. My lopsided mouth caused me to drool unconsciously and eating was rather messy. My right hand did not grip well. I dragged my right foot along rather than lift it up to walk. I did not walk steadily. The physiotherapy team found I did not have the kinesthetic reflex to touch my nose. I was given exercises to train my brain to rewire itself. At 11 am, Kee Boon and Lay Suan visited me. Ps Irene brought me yummy porridge for lunch.  Lay Kein and Chris visited at the evening slot. The speech therapist came and cleared me to be discharged. But it was too late as no senior doc could sign my discharge. So I spent 1 more night in the hospital.

Kee Boon and Lay Suan visit me in hospital.

9 Oct Tuesday:  I want to thank the doctors and nurses at Putrajaya Hospital for their dedication despite the patient overload. Each morning, junior doctors would come and get the case history of the patients by reading the medical postings and talking to the patients. They then later presented this to the middle-level doctors who would ask many questions or correct their findings. Finally, before noon, the 2nd level doctors would present their cases to the senior doctor. I saw a lot of mentorship and serious learning taking place amongst the doctors. The doctors and nurses were thorough and patient.

The Pang Yaus visit me in hospital and we had a happy singalong session.

That last day in the hospital more friends visited. Kim & Christine visited with lovely orchids. They had to park at the police station! The security guard helped find parking for them.  The parking must have been horrendous! The pang yaus brought much food. Lydia cooked chicken porridge, Wai Wha bought mee sua with greens and lean meat and Trixie bought multi-grained porridge. Peter Oon played on the guitar and I responded by singing “I will follow Him” We all came to the happy realization that my brain and mouth were functioning well enough for me to sing. Andrew Seoh prayed for me and helped send my stuff home to Cyberjaya.  

I reached home at about 3.30 pm. Once home, Jason felt it was safer for me to use the downstairs room until several weeks later when I graduated upstairs. Sue Ann flew off that night. Emma helped me eat the pang yaus delicious and nutritious food.

10 Oct Wednesday:   Rosie brought my mum and dad to visit. Rosie brought lovely fragrant small orchids. Sue Jan and Andrew helped send their grandparents home.

11 Oct Thursday: Jason took me to Assunta Hospital to see Dr. Raihannah. Judith sent her homemade fish porridge there.

12 Oct Friday: Jason took me to Pantai to see Dr. Sng Kim Hock, recommended by a dear friend whose husband is a specialist doctor. My bp was erratically high that day. He gave me 2 weeks supply of 5 mg Amlodipine. He scheduled me to do MRI and MRA on the next week. Sue Jan, Andrew, and Emma came with more food from Judith. 

13^th October Saturday: Jason had to leave the house for a meeting. Two pairs of long ago ex-students with their wives came to the rescue and babysat me at home. Wai Wha &Tang  Chee came with yummy fish head noodles. Tang Chee played my guitar. Hearing and watching him play made my heart and hands itch to play too. So after he stopped, I went and fiddled with it. I managed to play “The Moon represents my heart .” on it. That helped me know my fingers’ functions had improved considerably. I was very happy and grateful to be able to play the guitar again. Bryan and Joanne came shortly after and we had dinner together. 

Wai Wha & Tang Chee, Bryan & Joanne babysit me with much food for me and family.

14 Oct Sunday: After her sermon on pottery, Ps Kim invited me to give my testimony of God’s amazing healing in me. That night, my bp was a bit high as I went to sleep anxious over the scheduled MRI and MRA the next day.

15 Oct Monday:  I woke up with the song “Part the Waters Lord.” I knew God was speaking to me and my anxieties were calmed. Even though the scans was unusually long, God had sent His peace ahead through the song. Later, Dr. Sng explained that I had miraculous healing! He showed us the areas that had profuse bleeding. It narrowly missed the part of my brain that controlled limb movement. Much to Dr. Sng’s relief, it was not an aneurysm.

The bleeding area in my left brain.

I was on home confinement for 3 months apart from church and hospital and safe places. There were so many visitors to our home at first that the guards thought someone had passed away. I am thankful for Madam Siva, my long-time physiotherapist at Damai Specialist Hospital, Jalan Ipoh, KL. She has helped me tremendously, both by her expertise, care, and specifically designed exercises, which empowered me to sign documents approved by my bank.

On the first month anniversary from the stroke, I reached a new milestone, clocking the first 13,289 steps that day but all under Jason’s eagle eye.’ We did 3 consecutive days of over 10k steps after that.

Prior to the stroke, I had agreed to speak at a girls’ camp. During the period of recovery, I didn’t know if I could speak. I texted Ms. Moey to find an alternative speaker. She said she preferred to pray me through if I still wanted to do it.  As I waited on God to direct me, He spoke clearly in a song Oceans.

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Saviour.

The bridge spoke most clearly. It wasn’t about me and what I could do. More, it was about my Saviour Jesus Christ and where He would lead me. So I agreed to Ms. Moey’s request. I was overjoyed when 7 girls received Christ after the talk.

The 7 girls who were added to the kingdom.

Domestication & Quality Living

As part of the physiotherapy for my hand, I had to hand knead bread dough regularly. Much to my joy, I was able to make fluffy soft bread by January 2019. Kneading and baking soft bread was the start of domestication for me. Meals were home-cooked, using organic herbs from our garden and salmon caught by Jason. Later on, I also learned to make mushroom soup and other traditional food using Google. When my friends visited me, they often took home our herbs to plant and grow. I learned to propagate plants – for example, some water lilies. I even sent sunflower seeds to people who requested for them, some even as far as Kuching.

The joy of hand made fluffy bread.

I felt very much fulfilled during the 3+ months of home confinement where the big baby was me, with plenty of support from everywhere. Old friends and ex-students from KL and beyond whom I haven’t met for some time made it a point to visit me in Cyberjaya and we just caught up happily with one another. I didn’t use any alarm clock but woke up when my body felt I had enough rest and lay down to sleep when I felt fatigued. I walked regularly. Walking 33 continuous days of over 10,000 steps is something I have never done in my life. I enjoyed spending much quality time with family and friends. 

Even after I was able to drive alone, I still enjoy staying at home. It felt lovely to have no obligations to do anything or follow any schedule. All my adult life, there had been schedules and things I felt I should do. Suddenly nobody expected me to do anything except to get well. This was the most pampered period of my life! Not having a schedule gave me the freedom to cook nourishing food which I brought when visiting sick friends. I was glad to be of help and comfort walking them through the crisis they faced just as I had been helped by others.  I found my unstructured days very therapeutic– I could bless as I had been blessed.

The hospital and Dr. Sng did not see the need for me to continue any medication. I was also advised to stop taking Chinese medicine or herbs as they could spike my pulse rate.  I even stopped using my usual vitamins. Instead, I decided to start coconut oil pulling to improve my immunity. I monitor my BP and pulse rate regularly and I have learned to keep track of what spikes my BP and pulse rate and to depend on God and prayers to calm me. I have a calming ritual before I sleep. I have not fallen sick at all after the stroke and I am grateful to God for keeping me well.

One calming ritual was to spray the 5 plants in my bedroom.

Fulfilling dreams

Prior to the stroke, we had applied to go to Israel in February - March 2019. My last pilgrimage to Israel had been in 1999 and this trip 20 years later was a much-awaited one! However, I wasn’t sure if I could travel safely. As part of the preparation and also part of the  "rewiring brain through hands-on physiotherapy exercises", I intentionally learned Hebrew script and copied Hebrew calligraphy. One reason was I found the large calligraphy pens easier to wield compared to the regular ballpoint pen.

It turned out to be a beautiful 3 weeks in Israel and Jordan. I was so happy to be able to walk the high ramparts from Jaffa Gate southwards together with friends and Jason. We even managed to walk the underground tunnel alongside the Western Wall the same day and emerged at the Arab quarter! It was definitely the fulfillment of many desires in my heart.

Jason and me in Jerusalem.

Can you see our heads above the wall surrounding Jerusalem?
Yes, it was a 20-year wait and dream to walk on the ramparts of this city.

We also had a lovely family holiday in Japan. And I am looking forward to more traveling! Recently I cycled from Cyberjaya into Putrajaya and back around Lake Perdana via several bridges!

https://musingsdebbie.blogspot.com/2019/07/cycling-from-cyberjaya-to-putrajaya-and.html

Why this title?

A stroke of genius and a stroke of love. This stroke has forced me to stop a hectic lifestyle which was not good for me physically and emotionally. Only God by His genius could do that.  I stand amazed and thankful to Christ Jesus my Saviour and Lord that I am 95% healed in such a short time. I thank God that Jason was with me at the onset of the stroke – I cannot imagine the consequences if I had been driving alone. I am thankful to Jason for walking me faithfully through the stroke recovery. I am also grateful for Dr. Tan Guat Ming for taking my call as a friend and her swift diagnosis of my symptoms. These I believe were orchestrated by Father God in His tender mercies.

More love has been poured into my heart from God and family and friends and it is so easy to love as I have been loved. There is no guarantee the stroke or some other disease will not strike again. I rest in the knowledge that my days are not mine but His to extend and I am grateful. There is a desire to lay down my life and ask Him, “What do you want me to do with the extra days you have gifted me?” I want to be obedient to do that which He highlights.